The Hype Gripe: How I Ruined The Phantom Pain for Me

Those of you who know me (and those of you who used to read the blog) will know that I may have mentioned that I am a fan of the Metal Gear Solid series (I might have made passing comment once or twice or three hundred times), so by that logic, you must believe that I loved the hell out of the most recent entry to the series: Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. Well, not particularly, and that's my own fault (well, and Konami's).

What am I going on about? Well, simply put, it was my excitement that ruined it for me. I've been excited about video games in the past, quite a lot of the time in fact, but due to a number of factors, The Phantom Pain was a whole new level of excitement. I mean, I'd been waiting for this game for years. Any morsel of tasty information and I was all over it like it was a five course meal. A trailer would drop, I would drop everything to watch it, a new screenshot would arrive and I'd stare at it longingly and lustfully (have you seen Snake's grizzled man face? Oh my what a man), and when the release date finally dropped after years of no hints and it turned out to be essentially on my birthday? Good lord I was turned into hype goop.

I knew the game was going to play good, I had played the prequel Ground Zeroes, but with all the new features! Open world! Base building! Sheep abduction! This was it, this was going to be my game of the year, nay, my game of the century.

And all those trailers! Trailers fit for kings! The game seemed so dark and dramatic! We were finally going to see how Big Boss went from lovable mercenary to maniacal mercenary! This was it, no game was ever going to be as good as this game, it couldn't possibly happen.

All this was how I felt all the way leading up to launch. Can you see the problem? How can anything possibly live up to that kind of hype? In my head, this was going to be the greatest thing for me since the oxygen keeping me alive. It was already too late, even if it had been the most incredible game ever, it couldn't have been better than how it was in my head.

So the game eventually came out. I started playing it, I was loving every second of it! But then I started to get bored. Missions were repeated, story wasn't constant, snake never seemed to get any eviler. "Oh but once it gets into the final act, then the darkness will begin" I thought. It started to, we started to see a bit of snake's darker side... and then the game just ended. I beat a level, watched a cut scene, went through the credits, and then I was dropped back into my helicopter just like the end of any old mission. Huh. Well there goes years of hype.

While thinking back, I can see that a lot of elements of the game could actually be seen as bad rather than not as good as I personally hyped it up to be, but it still had so many incredible things. It played amazing! The mechanics were incredible! It felt so good and rewarding doing anything! But it wasn't good enough, not for me.

I'm not saying this is a bad thing. "Ugh it's not what I wanted 0/10." I can see how incredible it was, but the hype lasted so so so long and my excitement was so so so huge, that it was bound to fail my expectations.

I remember talking to someone about it when I finished it, and I recall saying that, in some ways, I kind of wished it never came out. That way, it would have remained this perfect, almost mythical game that was better than anything else ever. Why? Because it's over. All that hype, and I've finally finished it. You know when you've been watching a tv series and you're so excited for the final season to come out so you can find out how it ends, only for it to end and for you to realise that that big part of your life, that thing that you'd wish the week away just so you could finally see the next episode, is over? That's exactly how this is for me. Sure, you can rewatch stuff, but you know what's going to happen, it's never going to be the same again. All those years are over. It made me so very sad when I finished the game. The Phantom Pain was supposed to be my game of the forever, instead, it wasn't even my game of the year. It really hurts man.

Maybe it isn't all hype though, I mean I can still go back to the original Metal Gear Solid or the third one or the fourth one and have an absolute blast, so maybe it's more to do with it not feeling too much like a Metal Gear Solid game? It could be a combination of the two. Either way, I've never been the same since finishing it.

So is hype a bad thing? Not necessarily, just make sure it isn't too excessive. It is a hell of a drug after all, trust me, I'm the biggest hype addict there is.

-Chris

TGOI.COM 2.O

Do you feel that little hole in your soul? A feeling that starting arriving around the time our last post came out? Well that's because you've really been missing us! At least I hope you have. WELL DO NOT FRET LITTLE ONE, WE (well, I) HAVE SOME NEWS! TGOI.COM IS COMING BACK! PROBABLY!

I mean, I want to bring it back any day now, but I'm not sure what kind of content to create. Should I go back to the weekly recommendation? Should I go to some of the content I planned to make but never did? Should I just create something new altogether? Whatever I choose, I better choose fast. (Obviously your input is really appreciated as always.)

So will TGOI.COM be getting a brave new reboot? Or do we crave for the nostalgic days of late 2014/early 2015? We'll all find out soon enough. Again, probably.

Have an idea for the site, but don't want me to put my greasy fingers on it? Well send me a message and I'll set you up with some admin privileges, provided you create regular content for the site! I hope one day TGOI.COM will take over the world, and I'd like YOU can help me. Peace and all that jazz.

-Chris

Weekly Recommendation - Week #040 - Wait, I Thought the Eighties Were Over?

It's a well known fact that things often make comebacks. This can include all sorts of things, from one-hit wonder bands trying to make a name for themselves by making new music but people only want them to play that one song they did that one time, to confectionery that people petition to be brought back from their childhoods that they stopped making due to the fact that it was probably tearing them apart one sugary bite at a time. Enough about specifics, because I'm directly referring to an entire era. That's right, the eighties (good guess.) Not only are people once again falling in love with the neon glow of the past, but they are trying to replicate it in various media forms. So to carry on the comeback of the eighties, I'm once again recommending eighties stuff, but rather than actual stuff from the eighties, stuff from the now! That's trying to pretend it was from the eighties! Like I did in the first eighties recommendation! Because I'm a lazy idiot! Exclamation marks!

Kung Fury - LaserUnicorns (Movie)

So the world seems a bit obsessed with this crowd sourced, completely free to watch movie, and with good reason, because it is one of the greatest things to grace the eyeballs of mankind. If you love dumb homages to the eighties, then this is right up your alley punk. VHS effects, neon, awful voice-acting, awful one-liners, dinosaurs, nazis and, most importantly, David Hasselhoff. I'm not even joking, they got David Hasselhoff to do a song for it, and it's cracking. In fact, the entire soundtrack is synthy and phenomenal. Did I mention this movie was free? GO WATCH IT PUNK! WE NEED SOME ACTION! There is really nothing else to say, it's phenomenal. Like insanely so.

In Decay - Com Truise (Music)

I could have easily recommended the soundtrack to Kung Fury, but I'm not going to, because then I would have had to make the game the Kung Fury game. Which I was going to do, but I haven't played the game yet so yeah, I had to improvise. This album is classic 80's revival music, but instead of the more intense music that you'd get from say Perturbator or PowerGlove, this is a lot calmer, and is in fact actually really soothing and relaxing. I adore the gentle synthy tones of Com Truise. This album helps me get through a lot of things, college work, revision, stress, this current piece of writing, this list goes on! I can't count how many times I have listened to it, and I hope I get you hooked too. Also, look how rad that album art is. Groovy. Speaking of Perturbator...

Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number - Devolver Digital (Game)

FUCKING HOTLINE MIAMI 2! It is well known from the fact that I talk about it so much, listen to the soundtracks so much, and wear the jacket from the main character so much, that I absolutely adore this franchise. I recommended the first game in the original eighties piece, which you can find here, This game is just like the first game, but with more levels, more character variation, a crazier story, and ONE OF THE GREATEST SOUNDTRACKS EVER CREATED. SERIOUS LISTEN TO THIS, AND THIS, AND THIS! Then calm down with this beautiful piece that I actually want at my funeral. If you love ultra-violence, getting angry, insane soundtracks, and dying over and over, this game is perfect for you. Also they're adding a level editor, complete with cut-scene editor, so you can basically make Hotline Miami 3. Or the tale of the Neon Avenger (whoops secret project hush hush.)

Make no mistake, I love the eighties, but I do not believe I was born in the wrong era, no sir, I believe I was born at the perfect time. Why? So I can enjoy all this eighties revival stuff while I'm young. Peace and love guys.

Weekly Recommendation - Week #039 - The Wild Wild Wasteland

So when it comes to making themes, I often struggle (unless it is a special day like mother's day or whatever). However this time around, an idea came straight to my head days in advance. Simply put, I saw Mad Max Fury Road and holy shit it is good. So it got me thinking, "what other good stuff is set in an apocalyptic wasteland?" There is a surprisingly large amount of stuff actually. I bet you can guess what I'm going to recommend already though.

Mad Max: Fury Road - George Miller (Film)

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS MOVIE. That could be the recommendation right there, I'm not even joking. This film has not only earned the right to use the title mad, but it should have complete ownership of it. This is one of the most insane movies I have ever watched, in fact, it is THE most insane movie I have ever watched. This film is staggering, the look, the pace, the story, the costumes, the practical effects (there is so much practical stuff) the soundtrack, the characters (so many strong female characters good lord), the EVERYTHING. Nothing will prepare you for how good this movie is. It is bonkers and I want to watch it over and over again. Best film of 2015 so far, do not wait for this one to come to DVD, see it in the cinema. It's so worth the money.

The Final Countdown - Europe (Music)

When you think apocalyptic music, you tend to think of gritty, twisted and empty pieces. However, if you want that, you ain't gonna find that here. This is the cheese, and mother of mercy I love me some cheese. It's one of the most stupidly catchy 80's tracks there is, and it absolutely refers to the apocalypse. It's all about the world ending and the final countdown to that point. There really isn't much to say, everyone's heard this song. I mean listen to this thing. I would watch the world end to this. And now it's stuck in my head. Top.

Fallout New Vegas - Obsidian Entertainment (Game)

This was a hard one, I mean I adore both Fallout 3 and New Vegas. However, in the spirit of Mad Max, I picked the one that had the most desert. Also because the title of this piece is named after a perk in New Vegas. So it's a game in which you make a person, go out into the wasteland of Las Vegas, and do whatever. You want to kill everyone? Do it! You want to gamble all your caps away? Do it! Want to wear nothing but a fedora and run around drinking out of every radiated toilet you can find until you literally die from it? You paid for this game, knock yourself out. It is a cracking apocalypse-em-up, just like 3, and you will get a lot of hours out of this. ALSO FALLOUT 4 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MY GOSH!

A friend of mine once said "Judgement day. The day I've been waiting for," in reference to a Wirral specific apocalypse that you guys don't know anything about. Quite honestly, if any of these products have taught me anything, it is that the end days for planet earth will be bleak, insane, and a hell of a lot of fun. It'll probably just be really boring actually, it will be a capitalist caused thing and it will be super dumb. Ah well.

Weekly Recommendation - Week #038 - Fight!

HOLY GOSH DARN WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN CHRIS? The art department at my college. For a long time. Well now that my art a-level is out the way, I can refocus on the recommendation (at least until exams in a few weeks. So in today's recommendation, WE TALKING ABOUT FIGHTS! AND CAPS LOCK! I myself am a former member of the C Wars fighting team (yes I named my own fake wrestling company after myself, I've always loved myself a bit too much) in which I took the name Mr X, and battled many fierce opponents, so I know a thing or two about fighting. Also I should mention I was like 8 and it was really not actual fighting but you know. So tip up your cup and throw your hands up, and let me hear the party say. This has become a really stupid intro. Like [name redacted] levels of stupid intro. Lets fights.

The Raid - Gareth Evans (Movie) - Author: Chris

So if you know me (or read that one recommendation in which I talked about the Raid 2), you will know that I adore these Raid films. And if you've read that last sentence, you will know I've already recommended the second one, which is literally the only reason I'm recommending the first one now. I mean I adore the second one, but the first one is super good too. It's a stupidly simple plot, in which a swat team attack a tower block, and move all the way up to take out the main bad man. That is all the plot is, and it makes for one of the best action martial arts films of recent, and I cannot get enough of these damn films. Also they are making a third one so AAAAAAAAAA YES!

Kung Fu Fighting- Carl Douglas (Music) - Author: Dasha

I have had this song stuck in my head so much lately. I always thought the lyrics were “Everybody loves Kung Fu Fighting” but I later discovered upon researching the real lyrics that it’s actually “Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting”, though I still prefer my original misheard version. It’s silly, and so ridiculously cheesy that it makes me feel instantly better about everything. It’s also got an excellent tune that includes everyone’s favourite Asian-themed riff in the chorus, (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrEOZk23FzA) and like all good catchy songs, it’s also great to dance to. Definitely recommended for parties, Kung Fu themed hang-outs, and for if you want to annoy friends.

Mortal Kombat X - NetherRealm Studios (Game) - Author: Chris

THE TRAILER HAS CHOP SUEY WOOSH! So recently I have been playing nothing but Mortal Kombat X (or MK X if you have no time, or Mortal Kombat 10 if you are a dirty try hard), and it is, in my (and in a lot of other people's) opinion, the best fighting game out there. Like of all time. Everything about it is ace, the presentation, the character design, the story (yes the story mode is actually good, unlike every other fighting game story), the animation, how it plays EVERYTHING! If you are new to fighting games this is a good way to start, but at the same time if you are a fight stick vet, you will also love this, it caters to all. From MLG folks to people who like a bit of local fun and games (seriously, test your luck is the funniest game mode in anything ever), this game covers it all. ALSO JASON VOORHEES AND THE PREDATOR ARE CHARACTERS WHAT!

So that was a bit smaller than normal, for the simple reason that I am very out of practise. I promise it will be better next time, pretty promise! Don't forget to fight everyone you love and care about, as well as your enemies, as fighting can be fun as well as not fun!

Also, I might do a proper review thing of Mortal Kombat X, and any other film or game that I think deserves a lot of writing. What do you guys think? Do let me know mi amigos. Peace and love (no autographs.)

Weekly Recommendation - Week #037 - Star Wars is Best Wars

GUYS DID YOU SEE THE NEW STAR WARS TRAILER? AND THE BATTLEFRONT TRAILER? JESUS CHRIST IT'S GOOD TO HAVE STAR WARS BACK IN MY LIFE! So in case you didn't get the hint I love Star Wars, like, insanely so. I love the world, I love the style, I love the music, I love it all. So to celebrate all that cool Star Wars stuff that was shown recently, we're going to have some Star Wars themed recommendations! That's not all, like any good returning series, it's good to have a bit of nostagia to hook the audience, so for one night only (until the next time he writes), I'd like to welcome back that one guest writer that you all seemed to like the last couple of times he's written stuff for the blog: MAX! I hope you clapped then. I know I did.

Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope - George Lucas (Film) - Author: Chris

So let's kick this thing of with the original film. The film formally known as Star Wars, before all the titling stuff was added at a later point. So A New Hope holds a special place in my heart due to the simple fact that it's the film that started it all. It's truly an amazing film, with so much to enjoy from the set designs, the prop designs, the costume designs, the characters, the music, the aliens (and so on and so on.) I could talk about this film (and any of the other films quite honestly) for ever, and I wouldn't get bored. As I've said on occasion, it's hard to actually write about what is so special about this film, considering most people have already seen it and enjoy it, but still, it's nice to have an excuse to gab on about this corker of a film. This film started something massive, and without it, a large portion of my life, and quite a number of people's lives, would so unbelievably different. It's insane to think that a consecutive set of still images can create such a legacy, but this film managed it. And after ten years, we are getting another Star Wars film. Holy shit.

Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back – Irvin Kershner (Film) – Author: Max

The recommendation this week is specifically about Star Wars, so what is my choice of film? The best of the Star Wars films of course! During my childhood, the franchise practically was my life, and this film has always been my favourite of the bunch by far. I can't explain exactly what it is, the plot, the director, whatever, but this film just has something that separates it from the other five to me. And in terms of every other film ever? Pff, they have nothing on Empire Strikes Back, and today's recommendation is solely about Star Wars so they can GO AWAY THEY'RE NOT WANTED HERE. Now, I'm fully aware that I'm not actually providing any real reasoning as to why this film is so good, but I feel like it doesn't need it. It has always been a part of my life and I have always loved it. I couldn't even begin to try and remember how many times I've seen it either, and every time I re-watch it, I am just swamped by this wave of nostalgia that causes the six year old Max inside of me to squeal with joy. If you haven't seen this film... I have nothing to say to you...

The Battle of Hoth (Medley) - John Williams (Music) - Author: Chris

When I originally started writing this segment, I wrote a few lines, then decided to read what Max had written. Honestly he put it exactly how I wrote it, not even joking. I talked of the obvious choices, and how John Williams is god. This was one of the hardest things to decide, but for me, the crème de la crème of Star Wars tracks was The Battle of Hoth. And not just particular segments of it. All of it. All fourteen minutes and forty seven seconds of it. Every second of it is essential, every moment creates an emotion, every note puts the exact moment it is played in the film in my head. I can see the rebels getting into the snow speeders. I can see them watching into the horizon through their goggles anxiously. I can see the stomping of the AT-ATs as it rhythmically matches the appropriate segment of the song. I can see the rebels finally bringing an AT-AT down and destroying it. Not many songs can bring emotion to me so easily with each beat, but this piece can. Oh lord above this piece destroys my emotions every time I hear it. That is how a score should be. Nothing comes close.
Check it. It will change your life.

The Battle of Endor II (Part 2) – John Williams (Music) – Author: Max

Okay, in terms of music, John Williams is a master. For this particular segment, there are some obvious choices, such as the main theme, Duel of the Fates or Imperial March, but this part of The Battle of Endor piece just gets to me. It occurs when Darth Vader is ripping into Luke during the end of Return of the Jedi, and Luke just kicks off at him. I think, and have always thought, that this scene is masterful. Just like Empire Strikes Back, I have watched Return of the Jedi countless times (it's the second best one, although I have watched them all countless times so eh), and every time I watch it, the music in this scene never ceases to give me chills. Also, it features the Emperor's theme, which is just brilliant and truly evil. John Williams, you babe. Now go and listen to this 6 minute long piece and you will not be disappointed. If you do not like it (which is unlikely)... then perhaps she will...
Here's the link to fun times.

Star Wars Republic Commando - LucasArts (Game) - Author: Chris

Oh LucasArts, rest in peace you beautiful company. I have played many a Star Wars game, so many I can't even count them (I bet I could if I tried hard enough), and while I have loved most of them, my true love resides in Republic Commando. It was a first person squad shooter, in which you played as a squad of commandos, the Republic's best clone troopers. It was so well made, the squad command was superb, the characters were intense, the setting were phenomenal, and in true me fashion, I adored the soundtrack. It ranged from beauts like this, to less traditional Star Wars stuff like this. Yeah there was an Ash song for some reason and you know what? I love it. No other Star Wars game to date has used a song like that, and it works! It really makes you feel like a clone, rather than an unkillable Jedi, I mean Jesus, you needed to fully have your squad at top game to take out ONE super battle droid. ONE! Oh, and then you have to sneak through a super battle droid factory solo. And if you mess up? You don't get game over, oh no, they all wake up, and you can (in theory) fight your way through them. I say in theory because you couldn't unless you were a master assassin. But it was possible, and that was just one of the many things I loved about it. Oh, and the ghost cruiser level. That shit was creepy as hell. Also, WHERE IS MY SEQUEL GOD DAMMIT!

Star Wars Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast – Raven Software (Game) – Author: Max

WHY DOES STAR WARS HAVE BRILLIANT THINGS IN EVERY FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT!? Once again, my choice here comes down to sheer nostalgia. Jedi Outcast is an absolutely fantastic game, I used to smash this back in the day on PC and I loved it because... well... it's Star Wars! You play as Kyle Katarn, a former Jedi who has cut his links with the Force after almost succumbing to the Dark Side. Honestly, I don't remember much about the game in terms of plot or anything, but all I know is it was phenomenal, also the Multiplayer was pretty darn fun. 2002 was a good year because of the release of this game (and also the release of Attack of the Clones but whatever), and now, 13 years later, I am wanting to dig out this game from wherever I left it, install it and blitz it. Which probably isn't smart, due to exams looming. Stress. Fun. Stress. Play this game.

BONUS- Death Troopers - Joe Schreiber (Book) - Author: Chris

So as most of you may know, I don't read much. But I did one time read a Star Wars book that was about zombies. Not in a fan fiction way either. Like, it felt like a really gruesome horror story (seriously, it is extremely dark and insanely violent), but set in the Star Wars universe. It's about a prison ship that finds an abandoned Star Destroyer in the middle of space. Like the entire thing is abandoned some how. Then it has zombies on it. That learn. It's actually really awesome and I reread it frequently. I am reminded about a segment in which someone is crawling over a dark cavern (like the one Luke swings over in New Hope), and after smelling an awful stench, turns on his light to discover the cavern is full of corpses, most of them reanimated. Then some of them start eating their way through the corpse pile to get to the top and get to the guy. In a Star Wars book. This may indeed fan-fictiony, especially considering Han and Chewie are in it. But I don't care, I adore this book. In fact, I do believe it is my favourite book ever. Not even joking with you.

Well damn that was a lot of writing. What can I say, we both have a passion for Star Wars. I really hope you've enjoyed this extra long edition of the recommendation, and I do hope you guys have your say on your favourite Star Wars stuff. Also I really want to find someone other than me who has read Death Troopers. IT'S SO GOOD HOLY SHIT. Goodnight guys.

Weekly Recommendation - Week #036 - Who's Idea Was This?

So recently I discovered that A Five Nights at Freddie's movie is being made. Okay would be fine if that wasn't a YouTube bait game that had 2 sequels in less than half a year AND wasn't .PNG jumpscares: The Game. Once again, the lumbering beast known as Hollywood has caught onto something right at the end of it's run, not to mention considering they will have to actually make the film first. Seriously, will anyone care when this film drops in two to three years time? I mean there could be, provided sequels keep getting made, so at this rate we will be up to Five Nights at Freddie's 15: Somehow Not Out of Business. Where was I going with this I can't remember. Oh yeah, theme. So here are some things that shouldn't be things, except for music, which I'm super happy is a thing. Yeah that explains the theme pretty well.

House of the Dead - Uwe Boll (Film)

Thankfully, I have not actually seen this film, just a shit ton of clips from it (because I was researching for this post), and I have to say, Uwe Boll is a genius. He somehow can take any game property and turn them into the biggest pile of shit movies ever. How the fuck do these people even get funding? So this film is awful. There is no reference to the source material apart from the occasional cut to footage from it (for literally no reason). So in this film, a bunch of twats go to an island for an illegal drug fueled rave, that is fully endorsed by sega (for some fucking reason) and then tits happen and then zombies happen. It's awful. I must say from what I have seen from it I want to die. I don't think I want to watch it fully ever. But who knows? Maybe I will hold an event in which we can all watch it. Maybeeeeeeeeeeeeee? Only if you're good.

Wuthering Heights - Kate Bush (Music)

So I couldn't think of a song for the why would they make this theme that I had originally, so I changed the theme a smidge, because I'm lazy and gave up after about twenty minutes of searching (and also because I forgot it was Sunday.) Wuthering Heights is a book. It was written a while back. Then Kate Bush made a song about it. It is amazing. The video is so silly and her voice is so high pitch and the tune is so catchy. I love it. Why full stops? Because I have control over the blog. Write a complaint if you hate it. You know what you can't hate? KATE BUSH! If you do you are wrong and should consult a doctor. I can't properly explain my love for this song, I just kind of adore it completely, and hopefully you learn to too. Also I swear I recommended it already but I could find it anywhere, so that is bugging me really bad.

Aliens: Colonial Marines - SEGA (Game)

So I do actually own this one, and have played a lot of it, mainly because it's so bad (and because it was about the only local co-op game that came out that year.) This one actually really pisses me off, because, quite honestly, I was insanely hyped for this game. I've always wanted a game based off of Aliens, and I was going to get it (from all the trailers and shit.) So anyway, the game dropped and it was a colossal piece of wank. You fight aliens about three times (and fight humans the rest of the time), it's super linear, it looks awful, it plays awful, it IS awful. Maybe, just maybe, if you see it for a fiver, pick it up and have a silly time with a couch buddy (because couch co-op is amazing all the time,) but seriously, this is an atrocity. A colonial atrocity. I HAVE BEEN WAITED FOR SO LONG TO SAY THAT IN RELATION TO THIS GAME YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW LIKE SINCE THE GAME CAME OUT AND NOW YOU KNOW I SUPPOSE.

So my return to having to come up with my own theme was a bit bad, considering it was really twisted so I could actually find content for it. Oh well, I got to talk about Kate Bush, so that's always a plus. Tune in next week when I forget it's Sunday again and come up with some bullshit. That is how we do it.

Weekly Recommendation - Week #035 - Jesus and The Disciples: Reunion Tour

So before I started writing this, I thought this was going to be a walk in a park, but then I realised: "What the shit kind of theme is Easter Sunday?" Well I am a committed person, so I'm going to somehow find three things that are connected to Easter. In fact, the reasoning is going to be super loose and dumb, so I hope you enjoy it. Also, I'm curious how much you can stretch the theme. Do leave comments with your super stretches, and who knows? Maybe I will check them out. I will try I promise.

The Blacklist - NBC (Series)

So to kick off this nonsense fest, we open with a really good (and ongoing) series that has literally nothing to do with Easter. Apart from one thing. One of the main characters has a stuffed rabbit. Yeah that will do. Now if I were to actually recommend this, I'd tell you that this is a TV drama about the FBI's most wanted criminal, Raymond "Red" Reddington (played perfectly by Ultron, I mean James Spader) who turns himself in to help the FBI capture the most dangerous criminals that they have never heard off. However, he will only talk to new FBI member Elizabeth Keen (the one with the bunny). Each episode features a new eccentric and excellent villain that they have to stop, as well as a really good constantly running plot throughout all the criminal catching antics. If you love crazy criminals, dark stories and James Spader being amazing at everything he does, you will love this. Also they often feature really good songs, which is always fun to find out what they are going to use next (they use 99 Problems by Hugo in the first episode, which is what hooked me, along with Spader-Jesus). This is one of my favourite TV series' out there right now. (I suppose I could have recommended Donnie Darko for this, but I haven't watched it so shut up.)

Walking Away - The Egg (Music)

Not going to lie, I Google searched both "Easter Music" and, well, "egg music." I really am shit at this. Anyway, I discovered a band called The Egg (because EASTER EGGS YOU DIRT MUNCHER), and a single of theirs called Walking Away. If you listen to it, you may notice it's extremely similar to the David Guetta song entitled to the same thing (it's a remix that seems to only change the words, which is really fucking dumb.) It was also in a car advert in which the car transformed into a robot and ice skated or something. I don't know why I remember that. Anyway, this song is quite dance-to-able, and really bloody catchy, which are too things that can either make for a great song, or a really annoying one. Thankfully, this one falls under great for me, but you can decide what it is too you for yourself. I don't have to hold your hand through this. Unless you are really struggling to decide. In that case, come talk to me, we can listen to it one million times over and decide then.

Easter Egg Hunt - Martin Luther, according to Wiki (Game)

WHO SAID GAME HAD TO MEAN VIDEO GAME YOU BIG SILLY? SO THIS IS A GAME IN WHICH SOMEONE HIDES EGGS SOMEWHERE AND KIDS HAVE TO GO FIND THEM. IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT YOU HAVE PROBABLY HEARD OF IT SO THERE YOU GO. ALSO APPARENTLY MARTIN LUTHER (NOT THE KING) INVENTED IT FOR WOMEN AND CHILDREN, SO THERE IS ANOTHER THING THE PATRIARCHY HAS DONE TO CORRUPT THE INNOCENT SO GOOD GOING MALES! I'M REALLY ASHAMED OF YOU MEN SERIOUSLY.

I don't know what that last thing was. Well I do, it was me trying to be funny. If you found it funny, let me know. If you didn't, keep it to yourself. I jest of course, do let me know. So yeah, another special Sunday gone. Maybe next week will be a boring old Sunday so I have to come up with a theme on my own. I hope not. I've rather enjoyed being lazy. See you then, then!

Weekly Recommendation - Week #034 - Wrestlemania 31

So I can already sense that this recommendation isn't going to go well because, if it goes like the last wrestling themed recommendation, not many people are going to read it. Well it's fair enough, wrestling is not everyone's cup of tea,but it is my cup of tea, coffee, soup in a cup, soft drink, hard drink, hot chocolate and mountain dew (bro). Basically, I love wrestling. "So why do a wrestling theme if you already did that one?" You ask. Well, first of all, thank you for saying that in quotation marks, it makes it easier to see that you are asking the question rather than me, and secondly because IT'S WRESTLEMANIA NIGHT! That's right, the annual wrestling event that blows every other wrestling event (or any sporting event in fact) clean out of the water is TONIGHT! Which I won't be watching until Friday. Because it starts at like midnight and it's like four hours plus and Friday is the closest day I have off so yeah. So to celebrate Wrestlemania 31 (which is just being labelled as Wrestlemania for some reason), I'm going to recommend a bunch of wrestling stuff! Seriously though, if you don't like wrestling but opened the link to support the site anyway, I really appreciate that, but I'm not really going to make this non-fan friendly, so you may not understand half the shit I say (or you might, I haven't started writing the main body yet so I may just not say anything that uncommon,) so sorry about that dear viewer. The view was a wonderful thought though and I thank you a million times. WRESTLING TIME!

NXT TakeOver: R Evolution - NXT (PPV)

So to start the ball rolling, I'm going to recommend my favourite pay per view of recent, and that is NXT TakeOver: R Evolution. Now it could be argued that this is not a pay per view, as you can't pay anywhere to view it, it could (and still can) be seen on the WWE Network (for the low low price of $9.99, or in English money, £9.99. Wait that isn't right, who at WWE corporate converted that?), but I still consider it to be a PPV, because it was formatted as one (despite the actual payment thing.) So I love NXT, I personally prefer NXT overall (but don't get me wrong, I do like the main stuff), due to their superior wrestling ability, writing, crowd energy, and female wrestling opportunities (seriously WWE, what's up with your gender game?), so when I was informed that NXT did pay per views better too, I instantly believed this. I was not prepared for just how much better it would be. Everything about it was perfect, the energy, the booking, the matches, and the end. I mean holy shit this has one of the greatest endings to a pay per view, and I'm not just referring to the final match (which was Adrian Neville against Sami Zayn for the title), which was insanely good, but the aftermath. God this pay per view is what got me re-hooked on wrestling. If you love wrestling in general, you will love NXT, and you will absolutely love R Evolution. I mean the name is a bit dodgy but you know, nothing is truly perfect.

Rise - David Guetta feat. Skylar Grey (Music)

So I don't know much about David Guetta (or Skylar Grey), so they may be shit heads for all I know. I've never head anything by them either, apart from this one song. Why have I heard this song? Well let me tell you billy boy, it's the Wrestlemania 31 theme! It's a nice little tune, the beat is good, it's a tad groovy, and Skylar Grey has a beautiful voice. However, the main reason I love this song is literally due to the hype factor. Whenever I watch NXT, the advert break features an advert for how many days until Wrestlemania 31 (obviously not all year round, it started when there was a month to go), and the song really works well with the advert. In fact, when it ends with the logo appearing, Grey singing, and the number of days appearing, it just works so perfectly. That's why I like this song, because it reminds me of what's coming, and I am extremely pumped. Like worryingly so. Don't send help though, send Doritos. Bro. (One more bro for the hat trick.)

WWE 2K15 - 2K Games (Game)

"Jesus Christ you recommended this already!" You may be screaming at your monitors. Well if you are referring to the Top Five Games of 2014 (According to Chris), then first of all, thank you for remembering something I wrote (I put so much effort into that seriously), and secondly, THAT WASN'T A WEEKLY RECOMMENDATION NOW WAS IT? Anyway, if you go back to that piece, you can get my general opinion of the game, I basically covered everything in it, but since then, they have added a bunch of new content, and I think it's relevant to mention because on Tuesday, they are adding The Path of the Warrior DLC, which adds a story mode based on the Ultimate Warrior, and features a huge amount of retro WWE content, including the utterly amazing Randy Savage. Seriously, he's the cream of the crop, and I'm super happy he just got added to the Hall of Fame. This game was good in my opinion, and with the addition of all this content (and all the content they've added since I last mentioned this game), this game is really good. Especially if you love wrestling. OH YEAHHHHHHHH! BROTHER! (Does that count as the hat trick?)

So there you have it, a bunch of wrestling stuff that is kind of related to Wrestlemania 31 (actually, the song is completely relevant). I hope all of you find a way to watch it, because it's going to be super hype, and also I want someone to talk to about it. See you next week for our return to non-wrestling related content. Unless wrestling related stuff somehow is able to fit into next weeks theme. Which it could for all we know. WRESTLING!

Weekly Recommendation - Week #033 - Mother of All Days

So last week, we talked about women. Well I recommended a bunch of stuff that related to women, because, you know, it was the Woman Day. However, it is no longer about all women, it is about a specific group of women, and that would be mothers. Where would we be without mothers ey? Well, not in existence. So today, I recommend shit based around them mothers, which was actually a lot harder than it sounds, I mean, I literally drew a blank on music, so instead of coping out, I got Dasha to write the music bit instead, you know, that person who wrote that one time we were ill. And did that one thing that will forever be in TGOI history. You know, this thing. Anyway, on with the mother loving show! Ha, you thought I was going to swear didn't you? Bet I made you freak out. I love links that aren't relevant to Mother's day.

Psycho - Alfred Hitchcock (Film)

So I could have discovered some sappy film about mothers and what not but no, why not go with the ultimate motherly film: Psycho. If you haven't heard about this film, I will enlighten you you poor rock dweller you. So Norman Bates is a fine gent who runs a motel, and looks after his mother (there's the link), until he encounters a female who come to his motel under suspicious circumstances. Hilarity ensues. I mean there is that one shower scene that will damn knock your socks off. All jokes aside, that is probably a really poor description of the film, and it is actually one of the greatest horror thrillers out there, created by one of, if not the greatest director of all time. Bit awkward considering how he was around women. Oh well, I guess no one is perfect. Oh and how could I forget, the music is insanely good. It does seem I always recommend the soundtracks of the games and movies I recommend. Probably because audio is key to everything. Just saying. (That was a sound joke.)

Headlights - Eminem (Music) - Guest Written by Dasha

I was very eager to write about this song for Mother’s Day because I've been listening to it non-stop lately. Seriously, I adore this song, and I want more people to know about it. (Sorry Chris, hopefully you can recommend Bohemian Rhapsody soon.) If you’re an Eminem fan, you are probably well aware of the song “Cleanin’ out my closet” that featured on the 2002 album The Eminem Show which is a song that describes Eminem’s bitter hatred towards his mother and how she was a “selfish bitch,” unable to look after him and his brother properly. The lyrics are bitter and harsh, really expressing the broken relationship between him and his mother, and how much he despises her. Some pretty sick burns in there if you ask me. Headlights from the 2013 album Marshall Mather LP 2 is an incredibly moving and personal song dedicated to Eminem’s mother. In the song, he expresses his extreme apologies for his past behaviour, and all of the hatred he expressed towards her in “Cleanin’ out my closet”. He realises that he is too late to fix the relationship he has with her, but he wishes for her forgiveness. This isn't the first song where Eminem has really expressed his deep feelings before, but it most certainly is the most moving for me personally because of how remorseful the lyrics sound. The video is excellent too. Made me shed a few tears, I'm not going to lie.

The Binding of Isaac - Head Up Games (Game)

So before I write this, I must confess something. I have played like 5 minutes of this game. Now before you kill me with fire, I want you to know that I kind of have a general gist of why this game is fantastic. Settled? Okay. So Binding of Isaac is a rogue-like dungeon crawler based around that one bible passage about killing the sun or whatever. You play as a small meat like creature called Isaac, and you run through randomly generated levels killing random monsters and bosses with your tears, all while you pick up mutations and make yourself super gross and powerful. The reason it is connected to mothers? Well, due to the fact that the reason Isaac is running through all the basement killing fucked up monsters and mutating or whatever is because God told his Mum to kill him. Isn't that delightful? (No, it fucking isn't.) So if this doesn't get you in the (what's left of) Mother's day spirit, most other things probably will. INDIE GAMES!

Mother of mercy, it's over. So did you love this super special Mother's day recommendation? Well if you did, let me know why! If you didn't, also let me know why. I NEED FEEDBACK IT KEEPS ME ALIVE EVEN IF IT'S THE WORST FEEDBACK I JUST WANT TO READ WHAT YOU GUYS WRITE PLEASE. Ahem, well, see you next week children, where we return to our regular formatting of coming up with shit themes last second. Unless it's Single Ladies day next Sunday or something.

Well, it has to be done now doesn't it? ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!

Weekly Recommendation - Week #032 - Day of The (Insert Height Here) Foot Women

So as you may of guessed by the title (which is a half arsed reference to a film that I've never seen, but has an iconic poster), today is all about those members of the human species who are women. That's right, it's International Women's Day! Statistically speaking, women are more likely to be women than men, isn't that a fantastic statistic! I could blabber all day about these great facts about women (because they are pretty great), but that's not what you are here for is it? So instead of top women knowledge, you are going to get some great recommendations for things that are either made by or feature women. Okay feature women is quite a broad category, so I think I'll keep it to things that contain great female protagonists (or, as I just said, are made by women, because I'm pretty sure music doesn't have protagonists.) So without an further delays, lets celebrate women the TGOI way, by watching, listening to and playing women! Actually, lets not do that, that's more O.J. than TGOI.

Aliens - James Cameron (Film)

I could have been super indie kid here and picked a relatively unknown film with some really deep female lead in it, but lets be honest here, when you think "strong female protagonist in cinema," Sigourney Weaver's portrayal of Ripley will most likely appear straight away in your cranium. Now, the real test here was deciding which Alien film showed her at her best. Was it her lone survivor role in Alien, or her super kick arse, kill every alien by herself role in Aliens- actually never mind I already decided. Aliens is a superb follow up to the horror classic, featuring a team of super duper marines who take on the entire alien horde because they think they are the shit (but turn out to just be shit), but need to take the survivor of the first alien encounter, Ripley, with them, because she beat one before, so clearly she can beat the rest, right? Well luckily, they are so fucking right. Seriously, she is the coolest female, nay, the coolest human being ever to grace the screen. If you love strong female characters fighting a bunch of aliens, then you have found the film for you! Oh, and the film itself is actually a superb film, in fact, it's one of the greatest action films of all time, so that helps too.

White Rabbit - Jefferson Airplane (Music)

Quite honestly, music is absolutely chock full of amazing female talent, so choosing something for music was insanely hard. I wanted to go with a song that really filled me with emotion, and an artist who wasn't Kate Bush (because I show love for her on a regular basis). Whilst I had many choices, such as Think by Aretha Franklin, Bang Bang by Nancy Sinatra, and Because The Night by Patti Smith (which are all phenomenal for different reasons, seriously check them all out), I decided to go with White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane. This is a Vietnam era psychedelic rock song all about those hallucinogenics and those Alice in Wonderland references. It's a superb song written and performed by Grace Slick (that name is fantastic by the way) that really gets me good. I've always been a fan of this type of rock, and this is probably my second favourite song of that era (first being Buffalo Springfield's For What It's Worth). It's quite the short song, but I guarantee you will listen to it over and over.

The Walking Dead Season Two - Telltale Games (Game)

If you haven't heard of the Walking Dead video games (not that shitty first person shooter based on the show, the story driven one) then either you have been living under a rock, or you are not really interested in the story driven game genre or games in general, which is fair enough. They are excellently made games that feature you making various story changing decisions in a world full of the dead. The story is written superbly, but it's the characters that really shine through, especially the lead protagonist in the game's second season (and main, but unplayable character in the first season) Clementine. She is a youthful child in this cruel world, yet despite being a bunch of pixels on a screen, you care for her more than you would care for most real humans on the planet. She is a fantastic standard for amazing female characters, just like Ellie in The Last Of Us (which would have gone here if Max hadn't recommended it already.) These games are amazing at showing how characters don't have to be 2D, as Clementine goes from the one you want to protect at all costs in the first game, to the superb and caring (or super cruel if that's how you play these games) survivor in the second. Oh and for the record, yes I did cry at the end of season one of this game.

I think we can all agree that women are great, and today has been the day to recognise that greatness, which I have done through a blogpost (grandmaster women supporter right here), but in all honesty, why is it that today is women's day? Why can't every day be women's day? In fact, why can't every day be human day, in which we all celebrate every gender and race's equally? Because at the end of the day, on the inside, we all have skeletons that are basically the same. But that might be because they are resting inside us until the day they can burst out and claim the world in the name of skeleton kind. If that's the case, start loving everyone equally, before the Skeleton Rapture claims us all!

Seriously though, Happy International Women's Day!

Weekly Recommendation - Week #031 - Chris Take Over

So as you may have heard, I, Chris, am soloing this thing. So because of that, I feel like some changes are needed. What changes you may ask? I haven't got a damn clue, so I'm going to wing it. THE REVOLUTION IS HERE! THE NEW IDIOT ORDER WILL RISE! Well I mean I'm not a new member of this site, so I guess it's not a new order. Hmm. Also the NIO sounds shit so lets maybe hold off on that.

Considering the revolution is more often than not televised, here is the recommendation, but in video format!

LINK LINK LINK TO VIDEO!

Well isn't that neat ey?

Hope you enjoyed that! If not, let me know why. I really want to know how you would like me to do these recommendations. Anyway, later gators.

-Chris

The big announcement! Darren does a thing!

Super announcement time!

So to be as blunt as possible, Darren is no longer doing the weekly recommendation, meaning that I, Chris, will be soloing it most of the time. Except for sometimes because he will chip in every now and then.

Now this does not mean he's done with the site, oh no, in fact, it means more content. Darren will be doing a new thing, which I won't give any spoilers for now, but it's really good and coming sooner than you think.

"But why?" you maybe asking. Have we fallen out? Has he done a Michael Jackson and left the proverbial Jackson 5 to become a better solo act? Some third rhetoric excuse? Well, it's actually just because he's bored of it. So put your weary mind at rest little peacock.

This is a bold new step for this gang of idiots, and I hope this means we can expand and become an even better site. Who knows? Maybe I'll actually finish some of the other content I personally have planned? (Ha! Fat chance!) 

Have a top Tuesday egg rolls!
 -Chris (Max's favourite part)

Weekly Recommendation - Week #030 - Horror Science Fiction (#SorryChris)

Sci-fi horror makes an appearance, as does Stress Darren. FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN!

Event Horizon - Who fucking knows (Film) - Author: Stress Darren

SO, Event Horizon. I've only seen half of it. What I saw was good. It's got that 90's mixed military/changing room/inter racial flirting and FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH! If you've heard of Dead Space (yo're going to either way), it's like that but a film and quite good.

Perturbator (Musician/Artist/Band?) - Author: Stress Darren

I put some music on the Facebook page. This is it. They specialise in sci fi horror. They're also good. They have fun song titles like Ghost Dancers Slay together and She is Young, She is Beautiful, She is Next. 10/10. Gold star.

Dead Space 2 - Visceral Games (Game) - Author: Chris

So when you think horror sci fi games, Dead Space is most definitely the first thing that would pop into most people's heads (well at least it would in my head.) Now admittedly I haven't played much of 1 (shock) and admittedly I loved 3 (even bigger shock), I'm going to have to go with the game that got me into the franchise, and that's Extraction. Just kidding it's Dead Space 2 (but Extraction is a fun game.) Unlike most games in which I would just throw it in the console and play, Dead Space 2 was an event. I would wait until night, turn off all the lights, turn up the volume and fully immerse myself in the nightmare world. It was a tense time, and nothing as of yet (apart from PT) has redelivered that same feeling. The necromorph's are disgustingly awesome, the survive aspects are intense, and the sound design is terrifying. If you love survival horror in space, this is the perfect game for you. Also the multiplayer was not bad. Also also, in case I didn't mention, it's fucking scary.

I love horror and science fiction, and I am glad that some mad genius decided to combine them, as without it, the world might not be the same place. Unless it does, in which case, that would really suck because horror science fiction deserves to be world changing. Did we not recommend your favourite horror science fiction products? Drop them in the comments you goofs!

Also sorry we forgot last week.

SD: Also also, sorry about the brevity, it's a poor substitute for levity. Wahey, poetry. 

Weekly Recommendation - Week #029 - Emotion Promotion

What would we be without emotions? Slabs of meat with pretty faces most likely. There is nothing quite as emotive as a good piece of art, or even a piece of art that recommends pieces of art on a weekly basis. I bet if that was mysteriously absent for a week that would cause of ton of emotional outbursts. Unless it was done intentionally to further enforce the idea of this week's theme. Are we that good? Have we got an extremely detailed master-plan that features every detail we will post for the next ten years? I don't want to brag (or for you to get emotional), but of course we bloody do. We are just that damn good. And emotional. Because that's the theme of this week. Go cry about it. Because I will.

Watership Down - Martin Rosen (Film) - Author: Darren

So, if you haven't seen this or read the book, how on Earth did you learn about death? At it's heart, this is a 'children's' film that contains a lot of dark themes and, if the characters weren't rabbits, it probably wouldn't be. That's besides the point though. It's well written, the animation and art style holds up, and the voice acting and sound are brilliant. The important thing is that it still makes me feel sad, scared or happy at the appropriate times.
Look, this is probably not a lot but trust me, it's a great film that's aged well and remains relevant.

Drive Soundtrack - Cliff Martinez (Music) - Author: Chris

Quite honestly, I don't know why I haven't recommended Drive yet, it's a fantastic film. Oh well, I suppose the opportunity will arise soon (because ten year plan remember intro readers?). It's good I haven't mentioned it yet, because now I can talk about the soundtrack. Holy shit if ever a soundtrack was to drive emotion into me (like most good ones do, because I'm a sucker for a good soundtrack), it was this one. The combination of Cliff Martinez's original pieces that capture the 80s feeling of the film, being all synthesised and what not, and the excellent selection of licensed music (seriously, for openings to films, Nightcall by Kavinsky makes for one of the greatest opening pieces I've ever heard.) Every piece works so well with the film, and captures the emotion of the situations so well, and quite frankly, they get me too. No pun intended, but this soundtrack drives emotion into the film and into the listen, it's a superb listen! (Also not to brag but I have it on record and the records are pink so yeah I think I won that round. Later losers.)

Mass Effect 3 - BioWare (Game) - Author: Darren

Yes, I picked Mass Effect 3. No, it's not because of the ending. People can bitch about choices and payoff but, for me, the payoff from my choices was walking around the battlefield before the final push and talking to squad-mates and allies from the previous games. That's what made the game for me and that's what I look back on. Functionally, it's a great game but, despite BioWare's attempts, requires investment in the series.

So I probably don't seem to have done much. Well, I'm working on something much larger and while that sounds like I'm prioritising, I'm really not. It hasn't taken time away from this, I'm just fucking knackered. Also, bye/thank you.

Weekly Recommendation - Week #028 - Nasty Noughties

If you remember the noughties (eww what a gross word), congratu-fucking-lations, they weren't that long ago (unless you have blocked out that period of time in which case, I can hardly blame you). While (like any other time) there was a duel carriageway of shit, there was actually a fair bit of good stuff from noughties. But what was the noughties though? Was it a message? Was it a prophecy? Or was it simply another set of years that we had to give a name to because apparently after every 10 years we completely change how we operate (which weirdly enough has kind of been the case). Anyway, here are things we recommend from that time. Not hard, because like I said, it wasn't that fucking long ago. Now I only have to wait five years until I can write about the... tennies? (oh god please don't let that be the name!)

No Country For Old Men - The Coen Brothers (Film) - Author: Chris

Do you know what love? (well at least when watching movies). Being completely stressed the fuck out. Do you know what film does this amazingly? Interestingly enough, you should already know, because I PUT IT AT THE FUCKING START OF THIS okay sorry I got a bit mad. No Country For Old Men is the greatest sweat creating device on the planet. It is directed extremely well, making you feel on edge for the simplest of scenes. How come? Because of the film's villain, and holy shit, what a superb villain he is. He has zero remorse, he seems to just kill people for no fucking reason, and with whatever he can fucking get. I swear down I have nightmares about that human being. So this guy finds the remnants of a gang shoot out in the desert, everyone is dead as hell, allowing him to acquire a bag of cash from the scene. This causes Mr "I'm going to give you nightmares" to stalk him. I don't want to give away to much, but holy shit the ending of this fill is one of the best endings to a film. So yeah, check this one out, unless you already have, in which case NEVER WATCH IT EVER AGAIN BECAUSE I SAID SO THAT'S WHY.

Run With The Hunted - Skyhill (Music) - Author: Darren

If you know us, then you'll know we constantly bang on about NSP and if you read the blog a (can't remember how long ago), then you'll have heard mention of Starbomb. Well, the vocalist from those, Dan Avidan (Game Grumps) is the vocalist for Skyhill.
It's a similar set up to NSP (but 'serious', one guy on vocals, one on music. The guy on music is phenomenal (maybe if better than Brian) and works well with Dan's vocals. The lyrics are ok, they don't detract from the relaxing mood.
As is the case usually, I'll show rather than tell because English coursework fun times hooray. [http://www.skyhillmusic.com/listen.htm]

Batman: Arkham Asylum - Rocksteady Studios (Game) - Author: Chris

If  I was to have a favourite, or at least most memorable, game of the last however long games have been in existence, it would be this game. Fun fact: this was the first game I ever one hundred percented. Not only that, but I own this game on PS3, Xbox 360 and PC! Why is this the case? Because I hands down or to the sky fucking adore this game! While I do love Arkham City, which was Asylum but with more, I just love Asylum that much more. It was the first, so it didn't have as many upgrades or gadgets or as big of a map, but I loved the cramped, claustrophobic feel of the asylum: it's creepy, it's intense, and most importantly, it's a shit ton of fun! The voice acting is top, it looks great, and the combat/stealth mechanics are superb. Oh and the Scarecrow levels are some of my favourite levels in any video game ever. This game will be stupid cheap right now, so you must absolutely get this gem of a video game!

Go away.

Weekly Recommendation - Week #027 - Six Month 'Special' (That Should Have Been Last Week)

Before I commence today's special six month anniversary special, I'd like to say that we are fully aware that week 26 should have been our six month special, but we forgot. Really sorry if this messes up your life. So for this six month special, we are going to test a new format, one that we will either use once every six months or never again if it looks shit. Both Darren and I will recommend one thing (that can be literally anything) that we have enjoyed most over the past six months. Oh, and another thing, neither of us are high, despite what the following content will suggest. Enjoy! Perhaps...

Sound - Nature (One of the Five Senses) - Author: Chris

Okay before you start to question the quality of this blog, hear me out. Over the past few months, I have made the bizarre revelation that everything makes noise, and they are fantastic noises at that. The world is so noisy that our brains tune out a lot of background noise, but if you stop and listen, you will discover just how alive and, well, loud the earth is. Wind blowing, doors creaking, clothing rustling, air breathing, laptops whirring, and so on and so forth. You could stop right now, start listening really hard, and hear tons of fascinating sounds that all sound unique and just down right fabulous. In the past, I would be bored sitting around waiting for things, but now I can occupy my time by closing my eyes, and using my ears to paint a picture of my surroundings in my head. Want another fun way to enjoy sound? Tell people around you to stop what they are doing, and once silence is achieved, do something like open a bottle, or drop a coin, or shuffle your shoe (or literally anything) and you can all laugh at how great a sound that was (or seriously debate how interesting a sound it was, whichever works best.) Of course, how could I talk about the greatness of sound without mentioning music. Music can lighten up the most tedious walk, entertain the most boring car journey, strike fear into the most hard person (whoops, got a bit off track there). My morning walk and return home walk that I do every weekday would be outrageous boring if it wasn't for music. A rainy night can become a tense thriller scene, a sunny day can become a feel good movie, rain can become a dramatic opening to most things (okay I like rain, it's got tons of atmosphere, and music can turn it into so many things.) I'm not sure if I've solidified the opinion enough, but sound is fantastic, and if you take it for granted, I recommend slowing down and listening to the world, to see how amazing sound truly is. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to stand outside for a few minutes and open my ears.

RT We Are Rooster Teeth Shirt - Kal Nguyen [blackout591 - RT Community](T-Shirt) - Author: Darren

Overall, I've got to say this is my favourite t-shirt (that I own). It fits fairly well and is made out of comfortable material. The design on the front, courtesy of Kal Nguyen.[https://roosterteethuk.myshopify.com/collections/t-shirts/products/rt-we-are-rooster-teeth-shirt]
What makes this one stand out though is the fucking struggle. It's always fucking sold out in my size. I got lucky one day and it wasn't. SHUT UP PEOPLE WITH GENUINE PROBLEMS. YOU WEREN'T THERE. YOU DON'T KNOW ME OR MY STRUGGLE.
While it may seem like this is poorly written, my mind is elsewhere. I've set my sight on the Team Nice Dynamite shirt, it's my Moby Dick and I suggest you suck it. I had a hard choice though, the Team Lads Action News Team was up there as well as the Haywood Airlines one (did you know his name's James?). ACTUALLY NO. DON'T BUY IT. IT'LL SAVE US BOTH THE EMBARRASSMENT WHEN WE WEAR IT ON THE SAME DAY!

Before I/We go, a PSA: Don't put your shovel in a zookeeper, they'll be pissed and then Jesus Mohammed will cry semen.

Yeah on second thoughts, from reading what I just put and Darren's interesting little PSA, we should probably do random drug tests, because clearly something has gone wrong. See you next week! Or probably not, because I have a hunch this is the post that is going to kill whatever fanbase we had.

Weekly Recommendation - Week #026 - Actual Humour for Once?

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. I'd understand if it was one of them that walked into it, but all three of them? They must be some foolish idiots. Also I DON'T SEE WHY THEIR NATIONALITY OR RACE OR RELIGION MATTERS FUCKING PRESS DICKHEADS. Anyway, comedy. I like to act idiotically, because I am fully aware it makes some people laugh. Are they laughing at me or do they find it funny? I honestly don't care, as long as laughs are made, I have succeeded in my goal. Today, we are going to recommend things that we believe are of a humorous nature. Oh, and humour is different for different people, so if you don't find our choices funny you're wrong and I hate you.

The Young Ones - BBC (Series) - Author: Chris

If the BBC is known for one thing, it's sexism. WHAMO! It's also produced some top comedy series, such as Miranda. AGAIN JUST KIDDING HOLY SHIT THAT PROGRAM IS BAD! The Young Ones is an excellent series about the Cliff Richard song of the same name. OH MY GOD TRIPLE JOKES WHY AM I SO FUNNY? Seriously though, they talk about Cliff Richard in it all the time. It's actually about four college students living together in a house in Thatcher's Britain. Except it's absolutely insane. Dumb jokes, absurd visual gags, and the house is completely destroyed by the end of every episode. Some of the jokes are even relevant today! (What does that tell you about how much better we are?) They even have a musical guest on every episode, because, well, why not? (so they could get a light entertainment budget instead of a comedy budget actually fun fact.) Every character is a fantastic stereotype that is a thrill to watch: you have Neil the suicidal hippie, Mike the cool dude, Rick (played by the late Rik Mayall) the "I swear I'm an anarchist just listen to my poetry you fascists" guy,  and Vyvyan, the punk who breaks everything. Oh, and the Balowski family, a Russian family who we only see one member at a time who all look exactly like Alexei Sayle. If you thought their was rules and structure to comedy, well friend, watch this and you will see how a program that was written without care about how they would film any of the jokes later proves you so very wrong. Now move on you fascist bastard.

Player Select - Starbomb (Music) - Author: Darren

If you know us, you'll know that we love Ninja Sex Party. Well, they're part of this other band called Starbomb with Egoraptor (Arin Hanson). They do comedy songs about video games. Infact, they're latest album (Player Select) did remarkably well for itself. That doesn't matter though. You want to know why I like it, don't you? Firsly, the songs are all well written and, weirdly enough, funny. Dan's singing is top and so's Arin's rapping. They manage to bring across a wide range of humour and words words words words *joke* words words.
While there are a few songs on there I don't like, they're in the minority. My personal favourites are Robots in Need of Disguise and Inky's Lament. I would say more but shush you're tired now. Sleep. Shoutout to whoever mixed and eq'd the album though, they did a bang up job.

Also, sneaky side note: One of my favourite jokes to tell is "I like my slaves how I like my coffee... Free." because it's great to watch people react and really satisfying to get the timing right on. Also also, Chris is a dirty racist.

Saints Row 4 - Volition (Game) - Author: Chris

Don't believe a word Darren says, I am not a crook. Anyway, Saints Row 4 is a game (no shit Sherlock) about a street gang that somehow gained presidency, got abducted by aliens, got forced into a simulation, and then gained the ability to have super powers. Isn't that a barrel of fish that enjoy fun. If you loved the silly aspects of previous Saints Row games, you'll love this one, in fact, I think this will become your new favourite (unless you are die hard Saints Row 2 like everyone is), considering the writers have dropped the obsession with porn stars and produced one of their strongest pieces of work yet. Obscure references, random cameos (there is a whole thing about Keith David being Keith David in this game, and then a bit happens when Roddy Piper comes to help you fight him and HOLY SHIT THEY LIVE REFERENCE FOR NO REASON YES) and wrestling comments. Because from what I've seen and heard, the writers love wrestling. The customisation is fantastic, and the coop is one of the most fun things in video games, as it always has been with Saints Row. Check this game out, it is funny as shit, and a solid game.

I noticed a lot of jokes were made about race and gender in this post, well, more than normal. If this has slightly offended you in anyway, let us know, so we can try and offend you even more next week. I KID I KID we can do it any day of the week. On a serious note, we hate everyone equally, so don't feel bad about it.*

*Actually do, we hate you.**

**The joke is we hate everyone.***

***Because this entire post was about comedy.

Top Five Games of 2014 (According to Chris)

Greetings to all of you on this Merry 2015! (Unless you are reading this in a year that is not 2015 or, even worse, are one of those people who don't believe in the solar calender. If either are the case, get a hobby seriously.) As we move towards the end of the first week of 2015, we can start to compare 2015 to 2014, admittedly not to an fair or accurate scale, but we can. I started doing this a couple of days ago actually, and upon comparing the two years, it got me thinking: "What did I, personally, like most about 2014?" After a lot of thinking, I have finally figured it out, at least in certain subjects, such as, in the case of this article, my five favourite games of 2014 (but you already knew that because you read the title.) Just as a reminder, this is in no way some super official list, this is my personal favourites that I can remember (so I could potentially missed games out because I forgot about them at the time of writing or I didn't play them). Also, if you click the banners for each of the entries, a new tab should open with a link to an appropriate trailer. Now then, let's get on with the show! ROLL THE LIGHTS OR WHATEVER!

HONOURABLE MENTION: WWE 2K15

WWE 2K15 holds a very special place in the heart of TGOI. While Max Payne 3 saw the creation of the original TGOI, and GTA 5 saw it become active with more than just me as a member, WWE 2K15 is where 2K15 has truly began to shine through. It is definitely not the best game in the world, and I am fully aware that there are a fair few features that got removed in the transition to THE NEXT GENERATION (WOOOOOSH), but with the major graphical improvements and a seriously impressive animation upgrade, this is definitely one impressive wrestling simulation. Oh and most importantly, it's a shit ton of fun. 

While the roster only has a handful of worthy additions, and quite a mediocre list of legends, the real fun in this game is the character creator. If you are someone who buys these games every year, you may notice that the creator is significantly different from previous entries. First of all, the layout actually makes sense, and can be navigated without annoyance, secondly, the new face and body creator, while it does restrict the creation of the previously infamous abominations, actually allows for you to create characters that look like, well, human beings, sometimes to disturbing levels, and finally, the creation suite is a very welcome addition to the game. No longer must you attempt to create shitty logos on the god awful logo maker, now you can import your own PNG files and make some truly unique characters (or you could just cover your guy in pre-existing logos, because you can).  

The game contains your regular wrestling game features: an mode in which you simply select a match type, select your characters and fight, a universe mode, in which you manage all the shows and storylines, as well as two new modes. First up, rivalries mode, which is replaying matches from WWE history but with unique in-match cutscenes to match the game match to the actual match, as well as cutscenes using the original footage to tell the story between matches. The second mode is called My Career, which is a mode where you select a custom character, start in the training centre and work your way through the various shows, until you finally win the WWE Championship and have your retirement match. While the rivalry mode is very fun, the My Career mode does lack, as it can feel extremely grindy at the best of times, with very minimal unique cutscenes featuring your character. 

Overall it's a fun game, for those who enjoy WWE, those who enjoy a solid fighting game, and those who have the imagination to create characters with in-depth back stories. I basically fill all three of those characters so I'm good to go. (Also this is all in reference to the next-gen version, for the love of god don't get 2k15 for PS3 or Xbox 360, it's apparently awful. If you have previous gen, get 2k14 or '13 instead.)

#5: LETHAL LEAGUE

Now let's kick off with the actual top five. Take a look at that typeface for a second. What does that make you think of? If it's an insanely fast fighting/pong hybrid, then you are heading in the right direction. In Lethal League, you select your character, get dropped into an arena, and then you and your opponent must whack a baseball at each other, trying to hit them with it, giving you a point. The catch is, every hit makes the ball go faster, so much so that the ball can go so fast that the entire stage starts to collapse, with each extra hit freezing time and causing the world to erupt. It's thrilling to play, amazing to watch, and nerve-decimating to try and win. If I was only to ever use the word "rad" once in my life (which I hope I only have to use it once), it would perfectly describe this game. 

The art style has a sort of Jet Set Radio look to it (which is gorgeous might I add), with each character having a unique look and way of play, and the music really captures the theme of the entire game. In fact, I will provide a link to the whole soundtrack. My personal favourite is Ordinary Days, seriously I cannot get enough of that song. 

I must confess, the only reason I have played this game is because a friend got it for me as a gift, and I am so thankful that he did, this is for sure one of my favourite games of 2014. It's really easy to pick up, and you can get some insane matches going in no problem. Oh and you will start being a dick to your opponent when you start winning, it's like a guaranteed thing.

#4: JAZZPUNK

If you've been not watching the game trailers up to this point, I'm going to have to stop you right there. There is no way in hell I can fully describe in words what the fuck this game is, so I completely recommend watching the trailer above. It doesn't contain game spoilers, it just sets the premise for what the game is and sets out to do.

*One long Thunderbirds reference later*

Now that you've (hopefully) watched it, you can (once again, hopefully) see what I'm getting at with this game. It's an absurd comedy adventure game jam packed with bizarre references, completely ludicrous humour, and a really smashing look to it. It was created in the image of 80's films with groan-causing jokes and dumb physical gags, such as Airplane! or The Naked Gun. Hands down, this is the funniest game of the year, possibly even ever. I was laughing out loud the entire way through, and I am desperate for a sequel, or even some kind of DLC. I love how absurd the world of Jazzpunk is, and I want to go back. The only issue is it's so damn short. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS I LOVE YOU!

So if you love absurd humour and idiotic puns, this game is perfect for you. Oh, and see how many references you can spot too, it's got some corkers. I really don't want to spoil much, as the trailer didn't (seriously, the story has nothing to do with that trailer), but at one point you discover a mini game called "Wedding Quake." It is literally a wedding themed Quake. I adore it. I adore this game. WHERE IS MY SEQUEL DAMN IT!?!

#3: METAL GEAR SOLID 5 GROUND ZEROES

For those of you who know me, you will probably be shocked at me. ONLY THIRD CHRIS? BUT YOU ARE A METAL GEAR FANATIC! While yes it is true that I am a Metal Gear fanatic as you put it (well I put it but whatever), and yes I fucking can't get enough of this game, it does have a very minor issues that, while keeping it an amazing game, does mean that there are two games I think are much better than it. Enough about this, lets talk about how amazing this game is.

Before I played this game, I must confess, I had only played about half way through the first Metal Gear Solid, but I a) really liked the look of this one and b) had about two games for my PS4, so I bought it. So I suppose I have this game to thank for getting me into the rest of them. Ground Zeroes is a prequel to Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain (which, from the looks of things, could very likely be the game of the year next year, but until it's out I won't know), and was basically released to allow new and old players to get used to the new, rather complex controls, but good god is it fun to play.

The game is set after Peace Walker, and is about Snake trying to free two past members of his private militia, who are being held in Camp Omega by a particularly frightening fellow called Skull Face (because he literally looks like he has a skull for a face.) It is not your simple follow the objective kind of game though, oh no. You land on the base with zero clue as to where they are being held. You have to, yourself, gather intel and explore the island. Assuming once you've got them a cutscene happens and you are whisked away? Nope. You have to get out of there your self, either stealthily or being completely shot up. You then have to give your helicopter landing coordinates and wait for it to arrive so you can leave. Admittedly this (and a couple of side missions on the same map) is all there is to do in this game, the amount of re-playability you can get from it is immense. Drop in, find different routes, try different tactics, try no-kill runs, try gun-blazing runs, search for the huge amount of unlockables, and so on and so forth. I constantly go back to this game, and each time I have a ton of fun. 

Not only this, but the the game look absolutely gorgeous. As the dark map is lit up by tower lights and the world pours down with rain, you will feel absolutely immersed in this place. It is definitely one of the prettiest games on the Next Gen systems, not to mention (if you are one of those frame rate obsessed people) the solid 60fps the game gets, which is actually really impressive, considering how every texture and every animation looks top notch

You really don't need to have played any previous games to enjoy this one, you may not understand a couple of references, but there is a handy little recap feature that shows you the events of Peace Walker, so that tends to help. Seriously, if you see this cheap and want to play a really fantastic game, look no further than Ground Zeroes. Or any other of the Metal Gear Solid games seriously it is one of the best franchises out there!

#2: THE WOLF AMONG US

Okay so the trailer did say 2013, but that was only for episode 1. The other 4 episodes came out in 2014, and the game was sold as a whole product in 2014 so I'm counting it, and that's final. Sorry that sounded really bitchy please don't tell my mum.

Telltale games are well known for their heavily story driven games, and really starting making a name for themselves with the Walking Dead interactive game (but quite honestly, their Sam & Max games are where it's at) which I absolutely adore, apart from one thing. It's zombies. Why does it always have to be zombies? I then found out their next game was set in a world full of adult themed fairy tale characters. Now that's a world I've not heard before. It's an amazing world, I loved every minute I was in Fabletown, and I'd want to live there if it wasn't for, you know, all the murder and shit.

The game plays like the other Telltale games play: you control a protagonist, in this case, Bigby Wolf, the town sheriff and former big bad wolf, by choosing what they say in conversation, making time restricted decisions and picking where to investigate, as you try and solve the big mystery of the game, which I won't spoil. It's a fantastic game, with a really cool art style and amazing characters that you will love and/or hate, because seriously, some of them are dicks. The only big tragedy is the episodic aspect of the game, as now that all episodes are out, the time period in which you have to wait and analyse what happened and what will happen next episode has gone. But hey, no one is stopping you from waiting a month between episodes, but the game is just too damn good to stop playing.

If you love really bizarre worlds with really unique characters, you will love this game, and probably most of Telltale's other games. Oh, and don't forget that everyone remembers decisions you make through out the game, and the story is adjusted based on those decisions, which is pretty damn awesome. I bet no one will forget Telltale's decision to make a Jurassic Park game, because hey, that game was a bit shit.  

#1: WOLFENSTEIN: THE NEW ORDER

Do you know that feeling you get when you play a game or watch a film and it's like, "Hey, that world felt extremely fleshed out and carefully crafted, I want to explore it further"? Wolfenstein: The New Order (woah look at that, the top two games had Wolf in the title what are the odds? Well pretty high considering they are both fantastic games) is one of those products. They could have just made another run around murdering Nazis game, but oh, MachineGames decided, "You know who could be a great influence for our Nazi-bopping game? Quentin Tarantino." 

I'm not just talking about the violence (because the violence in the game would make Tarantino himself shed a tear of joy), but I'm talking about the universe side of things too. This game has one of the craziest and fleshed out worlds in a modern video game to date. In this alternate history, the Nazis beat the allies to the bomb and won World War II, leading to the world being overrun. It is not a simple take over though, oh no, they take our culture too. This world is so detailed that MachineGames commissioned original songs, in German, themed off of actual 1960's music, as well as a couple of covers. Not only are the songs really good, but they even have their own backstories (seriously, and the songs only appear in the background of some levels, because the guards might be listening to them or something.) If that isn't detailed I don't know what is. "But Chris" you ask, like you always do for some reason (I'm getting the sense that this is just because of my writing style, same with the constant brackets), "why the 1960s?" Admittedly, the Nazi's do win around the same time, but our protagonist, BJ Blazkowicz, wakes up from a coma in the 1960s to discover this world, fully developed. We then take over him and follow him on his quest to find the resistance and take down the Nazi leader, Deathshead (but he doesn't like that name, he's a happy person.) It is not told in a traditional story way, it is filled with bizarre characters and plot points, much like a film by Tarantino, as well as being interlaced with the previously mentioned music (again, like Tarantino.) It even has this neat story feature where you make a game decision, not at the end so it only affects the final cutscene, but at the beginning, so you have to live with the consequences of that choice through out the whole game. Now that is how it's done.

On a mechanics level, the game is absolutely solid. Every weapon feels super meaty, enemies react to every single bullet, and blood and gore flies around like it's going out of fashion. It has a traditional health and armour meter system, just like any old school shooter, as well as a neat cover mechanic, in which you hold a button and can raise, lower or move the gun around corners, but you can do this from any position, even in the middle of the open (which is a bit pointless, but it's neat that it's there) to get a feeling of a soldier actually trying to hit an opponent without getting shot himself.

This game, described as accurately as possible, feels like playing a Tarantino movie (as I have mentioned about thirty times), and I loved every second I was in this universe. I want to just keep playing this game over and over, and I can with the various modes and the early game choice that changes the story. In fact, I love the game so much that I bought the original soundtrack on vinyl. And yes, I have been listening to it as I write this, it's that damn good. In fact, here it is right now, for your pleasure. Enjoy the sounds of Neumond Recordings! It's worth 25 minutes of anyone's time.

So there you have it, after a lot of hours, it's finally done. Now that I write this final paragraph, I feel quite sad. I mean, I won't be doing another one of these for a whole year (unless I do my five favourite films of 2014, but only if you're good). Well it's been a fantastic 2014 for TGOI, and whilst it wasn't the best year for games, we did get some corkers, as proven above. Now 2015 does look like it's got some great games, so here's to that! Hope you had a great week, and look forward to seeing you on Sunday. Happy 2015 dickbags!