Birdemic: Shock and Terror - James Nguyen (Film) Author: Chris
Wars, disasters and dickheads have been the cause for evil, terror and general badness since time began. However, no prophet, no deity, no living soul could have predicted what was to be unleashed upon this earth in the year 2010. A year that no living person dares to look back upon, out of fear of their minds exploding and their retinas melting. The year of the Birdemic. Whilst many thought such a thing to never be allowed to happen again, copies mysteriously appeared on the internet, waiting for poor, unsuspecting fools to watch its horrifying footage. Panning shots, terrible audio quality, awful special effects, plague-causing writing, a plot that would make a new born baby spit out the words "What the fuck is this shit?!?!?" and the worst/greatest lead character ever to be shat out of a human being's mindhole. Oh for the love of all that is holy on this earth, you should, nay, you HAVE to watch this movie. It can't even be considering a movie. It is an experience, one that should be shared with groups of friends, preferably with some form of mind erasing drug at the ready. If you don't, be prepared, for you will never forget a second of this masterpiece. Also it has a sequel. AND DREDD STILL DOESN'T?!?! WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT IS WRONG WITH THIS EARTH?!?!?
Ima Real 1 - YG (Music) - Author: Darren
Few artists will ever surpass the musical genius of YG, not even YG can top this, his magnum opus. As rap goes, it's shit. Don't get me wrong I enjoy the structure and craftsmanship of a lot of songs but this really is utter wank. Funny wank, I'll give it that. This masterpiece opens strongly with "Ay
Mustard." and only gets more hilarious as he unfurls this which tapestry (and no, I'm not above calling it a rap-estry but Chris'd kill me.) If that's not enough then allow me to spin you a tale, I first encountered this on the GTA 5 soundtrack when Chris said, and I quote, "This is terrible, listen to it." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLaXExkvUFE]
You know what? No. I'm not fucking talking about Ride to Hell. You should already know what it is. Play it if you get satisfaction from feasting on heaping piles of shit. Because that is all this fucking game is. If you pay more than £1 for this barrel of cunt, you should stop. Just fucking stop. It's not even on the publisher OR the developer's websites, it's that fucking GROSS. I need to go lie down, leave me alone for a minute.
I hope you enjoy this week's recommendations. I know we DIDN'T. Well a little bit, you know. Some things just are that bad, that they make you want to enter their world. We probably shouldn't though. It's dirty and full of broken glass. Eww.
-Your least favourite members of TGOI
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